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USUK: FML: END

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Literature Text

FML
Chapter Eight
Arthur's POV 6
The End.


The night air was cool and the sky was dark.  I didn't care much for the music they were playing, it didn't suit my tastes.  Or maybe my mind was just too occupied.  As soon as we arrived, Francis ran off in search for Toni, and I was left to wonder on my own, through the crowds of people, groupings of families picnicing in the grass; fists jammed in my pockets, I finally found my way under an uninhabited tree, and sat down on one of the raised roots, my knee lifted towards my chest, hands folded around my shin.

Everyone was celebrating and joyous for the uplifting concert again.  I could've easily came with mum, dad, and Peter, and camped on their blanket with them, enjoying the family festivities, but I instead chose to drive with Francis, because that way I knew I could roam off on my own and not bother anyone with my misery.  Or, to rephrase that better, be bothered by anyone while wallowing in my misery.  All the smiling, happy faces reminded me of him.

Never in my life have I felt more stupid than I did this very moment.  It was my final day with Alfred, and I blew him off because I was mad I hadn't heard him right.  It was my own damn fault, and yet I was too prideful to admit that out loud.  I was too... Something to just forgive him and stay with him for our final few hours together.  I let him walk out of my life without even telling him goodbye or how much I'd miss him.  Because I would miss him.  Hell, I already missed him like a sin.  This empty feeling overcame me and I felt like there was no way I'd ever recover from this pain.  Even within such a short time, he became such a huge part of me, and now that piece of me was missing.  I was incomplete, broken.  Maybe if things didn't end so horribly, I wouldn't feel as badly.

But of course I still would.  I was losing the first real thing I ever had that was completely mine and I didn't have to share.  I loved Alfred F. Jones, and I wasn't afraid to admit it to anyone who dare ask.  I'd say it proudly, I'd get up on that damn stage, steal the microphone from the singer, and scream it out to all of London that I was in love with Alfred Jones of America, and no one in this whole bloody country stood a chance compared to him.  I felt so low, I'd probably admit how fucking stupid I was, to the entire crowd at the park, and that I was wrong to just let him go.  That, nothing unlike usually, I made a huge mistake on letting him go so easily, and didn't take my chance to spend every second kissing and holding him for as long as I still could.

I wish I still had that chance, but he was surely gone by now.  It was about seven, and his plane left at nine... He'd be heading towards the airport by now, boarding his plane and leaving myself and London behind.  Pretty soon his whole vacationing here would be nothing but a distant dream and he'd move on so freaking easily with his life-- Probably eventually have his own family and a new partner, and I'd be nothing but a lonely pile of memories in the corner of his mind.  The thought made my stomach sick.  The thought of never seeing him again, and him moving on without me.  He could escape London and our time together, but I'd never be able to.  His body was stained in my sheets, his image plastered on every corner.  And as much as it tormented me that I'd be haunted by the thought of him for as long as I lived, it comforted me all the same.  Because I knew he was real, and what we had was real, and I'd never forget it.

All this thinking of him made me feel weak, and I was glad the tree shaded me enough so that the tears welling in my eyes could stay hidden.  It wasn't like me to cry over anyone, to care about people enough to do it, but I care far too much about this certain man, this American, and I couldn't help but try to stifle my sobs as the realization of his leaving gradually and continuously hit me over and over, making my whole body feel so heavy and hurt.

"That asshole," I muttered, wiping my eyes and sniffling.  "I'm completely damaged.. I'm ruined, and it's his bloody fault."

I glared down at my shoes, but even still my rage resided at me and not him.  I was still so angry about my stupid mistake, and for not listening to him when he told me how limited our time was together.  I hated myself for losing him.  I hated myself so damn much!  He was my reason, and now I had nothing...  God save the Queen, I was such an angsty teenager... But dammit, it was true.  I needed him.  I needed him to be able to go on.  I needed to at least be forgiven by him.

My mobile was sitting perfectly on my bed back at home, and calling him wouldn't do any good anyway.  Texting him would be even worse and so impersonal.  There was no way to right this wrong.  There was no way to get him back and make him stay, not like that was ever an option to begin with.  Unless there was a way for me to get myself a plane ticket to America and go live with him, I was screwed.  That thought was too reckless anyway, even for me.

A heavy sigh escaped my lips, and I folded my arms over my knees, sinking my head down so that only my eyes and forehead poked out to look at the crowded park, staring blurred and blank, right through everyone.  In all my life, I never felt so bloody miserable, so lost.

"Hn, fuck this..."

"That's no language for a family event."

My ears were deceiving me.  That voice was his.  The body that leaned against the tree right beside me was his.  And as much as I wanted to jump up and tackle him, making a huge scene in front of the whole park, I just rolled my head to look up at him.  He smiled down at me, and I melted a little.  He slid down the tree trunk a little so his head was at level with mine, our eyes glued to each other's.

"How's this concert, huh?"

"It sucks."

"You really don't look like you're enjoying yourself." He lifting a hand to wipe a tear from my eyes, then used that same hand to lift my chin.  "I'm not leaving without a goodbye, Arthur."

"...don't leave at all."

I leaned up, my mouth crashing against his, my hands gripping to the front of his shirt, so afraid to let go and have him disappear.  He fell a little to kneel on the raised root with me, his hands locking behind my back, pulling me up so to deepen the kiss.  It felt so right, so perfect, like he wasn't going to leave me as soon as we parted.  Like this wasn't goodbye and I'd get to keep him forever.  He wasn't leaving, he was moving in with his friend and staying here.  That's what was happening.  He was here to celebrate, just like the rest of everyone here at this park, but celebrate his staying and our love.

I clung to him closer, the feeling of having lost him once was still lingering in my heavy heart, and I didn't want to feel that way again.  I couldn't lose him a second time, I couldn't lose him for real.  There'd be no chance of him coming back and getting me, no chance of him coming to steal a final goodbye kiss, because this was the moment.  This was our final moment.  A tearful kiss in the middle of some stupid little local concert.  Opposite of how we met, from a meaningless fuck in the middle of rainy concert.  This kiss would give me reason to survive for the rest of eternity, make me want to go on, have to go on, without him.  Because I'd HAVE to go on without him.

Without those bright blue eyes, that beautiful smile, that gentle and innocent kiss of his.  I'd have to try and go a day without him... Days without him, weeks without him, months without him, years without him.  I'd probably have to go the rest of my whole damn life without him.  And that made me kiss him more longingly, hold him more closely.  I hated this so much.

"I love you, Arthur." he smiled a little down at me, wiping away my flowing tears.

"I love you more, you stupid American." I looked down, wrapping my arms around him and burying my face against his chest.

He held me closer, sitting back against the tree trunk with me on his lap, just holding me.  We stayed quiet, but it was perfect.  Until he finally really had to leave, and I had to watch him walk out of my life for good.  Promises of keeping in touch left our lips between kisses, while his mate tried pulling him back in the car and take him away from me.  I leaned in the window for a final kiss, and he held my hand until our fingers slipped apart and his car took off.  I was left to just stand there and watch as he was ripped from my world.

"Hey, jerk!"

I looked back to see Peter running over.  "Mum said to come find you and Francis, she's got sandwiches."

"I'll be there in a mo'." I said, looking down the road as unfamiliar cars drove down it.

"Now, jerk Arthur!" he whined, pouting.

Rolling my eyes I turned and knocked his hat from his head, then ran off towards mum and dad's picnic laughing as Peter yelled and ran after me.  That American boy left some odd impact on me, and I'd never forget him.  It was like a part of him would always still be here with me.. As horribly cliche as it sounded, he'd always be apart of my heart.

Maybe our paths would cross again.
XD It's over.
The end. I'm not exactly proud of the ending, but I hope you all enjoyed it~ I think I might draw something for this... I dunno. AndIwouldn'tobjectifsomeoneelsewantedtotooXDD

Thanks to everyone who kept up with it, reading it!
© 2011 - 2024 KaguraxxSesshomaru
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Buttercream13's avatar
OH THE FEEEEEEEEELS!!!!:sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad:  The ending was so emotional!!! If I have your permission can I write an epilogue?